The Role of the Mother's Mental Comparisons of Her Hyperactive Child with Other Children in Her Feelings and Reactions towards Her Child

Document Type : Research Paper

Authors

1 Associate Professor, Department of Counseling, Faculty of Psychology and Education, Allameh Tabataba'i University, Tehran, Iran.

2 MSc in Family Counseling, Department of Counseling, Faculty of Psychology and Education, Allameh Tabataba'i University, Tehran, Iran.

Abstract
The purpose of this study was to examine the role of mothers’ mental comparisons of their hyperactive child with other children in shaping their emotions and reactions toward their child. This research was conducted using a qualitative approach and grounded theory methodology. The sampling method was purposive, and the research tool was semi-structured interviews. The study field consisted of mothers of children aged 5 to 12 in Tehran diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) during the year 2021. Ten participants took part in this study. Data analysis was carried out using Strauss and Corbin’s method, with three-stage coding, which led to the following core category: Data analysis revealed an interactive pattern in which mothers’ negative mental comparisons led to the activation of negative schemas. This process, in turn, by neglecting the child’s need for social recognition and acceptance, intensified the child’s undesirable behavior and the mother’s distress. This distress gave rise to the following negative emotions and reactions among mothers: sadness and regret, nervous tension, blaming the child, anger and aggression, guilt, feelings of incompetence, shame, fatigue, hatred toward the child, and concern about the child’s future. A small number of mothers, through counseling and training, managed to control their comparative thoughts and replaced negative emotions with acceptance of the child’s special condition and the calmness derived from such acceptance. These findings highlight the necessity of raising public awareness about this disorder and providing education to parents and teachers of these children.

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Subjects

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